Self-Love is a neutral goal that feels good at the same time
27 March 2019 

Self-Love is a neutral goal that feels good at the same time

Early March 2019 we did a free 11-day Self-Love Experience.  At the end of the Experience, we shared 6 new Self-Love Secrets with the participants.

6 Self-Love Secrets

  1. Self-Love loves to be connected to a Big Why / Life Purpose
  2. Self-Love is a crystal clear choice for Self
  3. Self-Love needs inner leadership
  4. Self-Love is a neutral goal that feels good at the same time
  5. Self-Love is a vibration
  6. Self-Love is an inner journey


Today we love to share Self-Love Secret #4 with you: Self-Love is a neutral goal that feels good at the same time.


Self-Love is a very emotional thing for most people. Those who have it are happy and those who don't have it long for it. Those who don't have it blame others for not having it. They blame others while being miserable and unhappy. And when they do have the occasional connection with their Self-Love, it feels like a lucky shot.

But what if this isn't true? What if your Self-Love is not depending on someone else? What if your Self-Love totally is your own business and your own responsibility? 

What would happen when you perceive Self-Love as a neutral goal you can achieve in your life? You perceiving it as a goal that everybody can achieve in his/her life.

Self-Love as a neutral goal

We see Self-Love as a neutral goal in life, that's why we created a Self-Love DNA. This is how we see it:

  1. I choose to be REAL about myself and my life. To be real means to us that we don't cover up what isn't working in our life, we face the reality of what works and what doesn't work. We are true to our essence. We hold each other accountable for being real.
  2. I choose to CHANGE what is not working in my life. We choose to evaluate our life, we look at what is working and what isn't working, without judgment. We treat it like a business because in that way we can admit to ourselves what is working and what isn't working
  3. I choose to do the INNER WORK that is needed to gain more Self-Love. We know that Self-Love doesn't come overnight. We know that Self-Love is a muscle that we have to train. And we know that one of the things we have to do to gain more Self-Love is to heal our unhealed emotions. Because we know this, we choose to do this.
  4. I choose to do this Inner Work DAILY. Do you know the difference between doing fitness once a week for 7 hours or doing fitness 7 times a week for one hour? It's proven that you become more fit and healthy in doing fitness during 7 times a week for 1 hour. And that's exactly why we choose to do the Inner Work to gain more Self-Love every day.
  5. I am COMMITTED to myself and my Self-Love. Oh yes, we are committed to ‘this project'. Why? Because we know it feels damn good when we do what is needed to gain more Self-Love. And because of the rewards, we don't stop.
  6. I choose to be in ACTION to gain more Self-Love every day. Without action, no transformation. And without transformation, no Self-Love. We know this from experience, so to be in action is no problem at all.
  7. I choose to live the LIFE I Love. Who doesn't want to live a life you love? This is maybe the most challenging statement. We have a clear vision of how the life we love looks like and by doing the inner work that is needed we pull this life into our existence. Every day a bit more.
  8. I am allowed to learn, to fail and to start anew each day. This statement gives us permission to learn, to fail and to start anew each moment. It's okay that we aren't perfect, that we aren't always successful, that we aren't always active, etc. It really allows us to feel what we need right now!
  9. I am grateful for my lessons, my disappointments, and my victories. To be grateful for our lessons and our victories is do-able but to be grateful for our disappointments is a challenge. And when we succeed to be grateful for our disappointments it brings us the most.

Daily Project

We choose Self-Love  deliberately and we seek help to gain Self-Love. Our Self-Love DNA is a big help for us and that's why our Self-Love DNA is our daily project. This is what we do:

  • We tap on it (with meridian tapping: EFT). 
  • Every day we feel what these statements mean in our life. 
  • What lessons can we learn from these statements right now? 
  • What do we need to do to increase our Self-Love?
  • What will be our Act of Self-Love today?

This daily project feels neutral to us. It also feels very light to us because we get so many results from it. These results always feel so good!

Our question for you:
Can you imagine how it would be if you treat your Self-Love as a neutral goal? Would it give you more results?


About the author
Wij zijn Briant Donker Curtius [1958] en Jaldhara Groeneveld [1960]. Wij begeleiden de succesvolle onderneemster die voor alles en iedereen zorgt behalve voor zichzelf. Wij doen dit in exclusieve MasterMinds en in 1-op-1 coaching. Wil jij de oorzaak, het onderliggende patroon, waarom je niet voor jezelf zorgt doorbreken? Boek dan een gratis Vrijheidsgesprek met ons in. [De link vind je onderin de footer]
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